- Fast food cashier
- Department store clerk
- Daycare worker
- Quick service lube shop cashier
- Parks and recreation employee
- Dormitory monitor
- Church intern
And that was all before I was 25.
Lots of jobs
I’ve taught elementary, junior high, and high school students with special needs.
I’ve worked at a deli, a bookstore, a women’s exercise center, a pilates studio, and a coffee shop.
I sold healthcare products for a multilevel marketing company.
- Substitute teacher
- Census worker
- Weed puller
- Trash hauler
- Office cleaner
- Grocery store cashier
- Sample Lady in a grocery store
Like I said before, I’ve had lots of jobs.
But all that was just my public life
Those roles gave me an answer to the question, “What do you do?”
But personally and secretly, “what I did” was to struggle to survive the haunting memories of child and adolescent abuse. And it wasn’t a struggle that I dealt well with on my own.
In fact, before I received much help to heal from my past
I stumbled into an abusive relationship as an adult. I married that abuser and experienced my whole life become one long nightmare that seemed impossible to wake up from.
How my private life affected my Job Journey
I could only work at jobs my spouse approved of.
I had to give him all the money I earned from those jobs.
After a few years, he wouldn’t allow me to work at all.
He didn’t give me enough money for groceries for our children.
He took for himself money that I received as gifts from my family.
He often hid what he did with his money.
When he did show me how he spent it, it was to show off the way he gave money to good causes (instead of giving me enough to buy food and clothes for the children and me).
After nearly twenty years of this abuse, he filed for divorce. And I found myself with a lot of healing to do.
God ordered my Recovery Journey
God taught me to make recovery a priority. He guided me every step of the way, and I watched myself get better spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Eventually, I began to heal physically, too. I write about my recovery journey in my memoir Locusts Ate My Orgasms.
Why I need Financial Recovery
Even though I have experienced so much healing, there is still one area where I haven’t gained much ground. The financial aspect of abuse has been, without a doubt, the hardest part to heal from.
And I am not alone in this
According to the Allstate Foundation,
“One in four women experience domestic violence in the United States. 99% of those cases include financial abuse. It’s one of the main reasons victims are unable to leave an abusive partner or have to return to one.”
My current recovery focus is on healing from the financial abuse.
I write about the ups and downs of financial recovery not just to help myself but also to help others who find themselves on a similar healing journey.
WHAT YOU WON’T FIND ON THIS SITE
I’m still reeling from the effects of financial abuse.
I have school debt, medical debt, credit card debit, and money I owe 3 different members of my family.
I completed massage school but don’t have my license yet. I just started graduate school to study acupuncture (and take on more debt). The transitional alimony I received after the divorce ended. My kids and I survive on public assistance, child support, and financial aid from school.
My point in telling you all of that is to make sure that you know I am not a financial expert. This website won’t have what you expect to see on most personal finance blogs.
- No job boards
- No get rich quick schemes
- No strategies on how to get your next promotion
Like I said, I’m no financial genius.
WHAT YOU WILL FIND HERE
I write to inspire you and to remind myself to be encouraged about the process
Look to God for healing.
I share what I learn from the Bible about finances and about how money is not the only way God provides for us.
Wake up from the nightmare.
Watch as I lay out what it means to be financially abused, and (just as importantly) and how not to fall prey to it again.
Get front row seats to the authentic account of my financial adventure.
I’ve got financial hopes as well as hurdles that I share with email subscribers (a more personal setting than blog posts). I invite you to subscribe and watch my progress, at the same times as you steadily make your own.
Financial abuse is real, and financial recovery is possible
That’s why I’m here.
That’s why you’re here, too.
Together, we will recover.