How do you parent proudly when the most solid parenting information you have so far is that you don’t want to do it the way your mother did? How do you parent well after surviving abuse?
Glad You’re Here
You’re in the right place. The best gift you can give your children is recovering from the abuse you’ve experienced so that you can express your love to them from a recovered mindset.
Your own abuse recovery allows you to
- Draw closer to Jesus
- Learn who you are in Christ
- Take responsibility for any maturity that was cut short due to the abuse
- Own your feelings and needs and seek to meet them in God-honoring and soul-uplifting ways
The above steps set a foundation, making it possible for you to
- See your child as made in God’s image
- Apply your recovery skills to your parenting practice
- Recognize when you react to your child out of fear, anger, or shame
- Apologize to your children and make amends for your parenting mistakes
There are appropriate and nuanced ways to act on each of the items in this list. And this list isn’t a detailed description of parenting as a result of abuse recovery. But it does give you a general outline of the steps you’ll take to parent proudly.
Parenting Proudly
The Privileged Role of Parent
What a ministry you have right inside your own heart!
God made you your children’s parent, on purpose and for a purpose. Walk in the light of that truth.
And as you walk in that truth, hold the hand of each of your children so that they can walk with Truth, too.
Parent with Like-Minded Parents
It’s hard to parent proudly in isolation. Isolation is the product of shame. It’s a tactic that Satan uses to keep godly parents from encouraging each other and godly children from sharing life together.
Shame is a product of abuse. As you heal from the effects of abuse in your life, you will experience less and less shame. And the less shame you experience the less you’ll want to feel it. So when shame does pop up, you’ll look for healthy ways to get rid of it.
One of the easiest ways is to put shame behind you is to place yourself in the company of godly people who are not (in that moment) struggling with shame themselves. In-person gatherings and virtual groups provide support for shame-free parenting.
Do not parent in isolation. If you do, you cannot parent proudly. Part of parenting proudly is parenting in community.
Parenting Proudly Honors God As Your True Parent
The first significant parenting community you need to establish is communion with God. There is no way you can parent well without Him.
Read His Word. Worship among His true worshippers. Write to Him. Pray to Him. Trust Him.
God is your Heavenly Father. And because of that, He’s the Source of all that you need. He’s the perfect Example in any given situation. And, thankfully, He’s the Forgiver of your sins when you make parenting mistakes.
God. First, foremost, and forever.
Parenting Proudly Means Parenting Cooperatively
It took both of you to make the babies. Now, you’re both needed for the long haul of rearing them. Fussing, fighting and fuming are worse than non-productive. They’re actually destructive. You’ll find yourself parenting proudly when you parent cooperatively.
Get the Support of a Parenting Coach
Equip yourself with delightful and innovative ways to engage with your children. Discover how to parent proudly from a place of peace. Work with a parenting coach who recognizes that your abuse recovery progress directly impacts how you parent your children.
Your kids deserve a parent who’s recovering from abuse.
You deserve support while parenting from a recovered mindset.
I am here to help you with both.
